When Anne Berne’s husband John was diagnosed with dementia, Anne became his full-time carer. But she soon noticed there’s a certain pressure that comes with the role.
‘I think some women want to be the perfect carer,’ she said. ‘They want to show: “I’m looking after him so well”. And that’s all well and good – but not at your own expense.’
Her comment highlights a common experience – carer burnout – that often leads to a reluctant search for residential aged care. But that option is becoming more difficult to pursue, due to the fact we are entering the fastest, most intensive phase of population ageing Australia has ever experienced.
Over the next decade:
The fastest growth will be in the ‘oldest old’ group – the over 85s (projected to double to over 1 million)
The demand for both residential and home care is expected to increase by 30%
The number of people living with dementia will grow from 450,000 to 550,000.
To be ready for this future, we urgently need to improve support for people living with dementia so they can continue to live well in the place they know: their own home. But for that to succeed, we must look after the family carers, too. And there’s one, often overlooked, element to effective support for the carer: overnight respite care.
Anne discovered how powerful respite can be when John began staying at HammondCare’s overnight respite cottage in southern Sydney. Now, she says respite has become ‘everything’ to her as a full-time carer.
‘When I drop him here, I go home and just rest,’ Anne said. ‘I don’t accept social engagements...I sleep. And then I’m back – I’m renewed to care again. But if you don’t have that break, you can’t keep doing it. You go under.’
Caring for someone with dementia at home is hard, for everyone involved, and you can’t do it alone: in what other full-time job would you never get a break? Carers should, too!
Services like our respite cottages allow carers time to rest, recover and reconnect. At HammondCare, we provide over 9000 nights of respite each year through our six cottages. But that’s a drop in the ocean compared to the national need.
Respite needs to be normalised as a crucial element in dementia care, and supported in future policy outcomes – when cottage respite transitions to Support at Home, it needs to have secure block funding to ensure its viability.
Most Australians would prefer to be well cared for in the place they feel most comfortable, where they belong: their home. Let’s do everything we can to make that possible.